


Amuse-gueule

by Sasassy



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Canon - Manga, Canon Compliant, Explicit Language, Face-Fucking, Feelings, Foreskin Play, Frottage, Hair-pulling, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:20:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5033524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasassy/pseuds/Sasassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All it took was for Uta to bend over a dismembered corpse and Renji was a goner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Amuse-gueule

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dullneedles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dullneedles/gifts).



All it took was for Uta to bend over a dismembered corpse and Renji was a goner.

 

He could admit that Uta could be pretty, for a guy, when he for once wasn’t wearing silly glasses or clothes that looked like he stole them from a garbage can. But he’d never considered him as anything apart from that. Until now.

 

Uta had been called to a street fight to try and mediate but when they had arrived, the ghouls fighting had already killed each other. The peacemaker of the 4th Ward was poking at the remains now, trying to figure out the identities but they were too torn apart for that.

 

”They should have called me earlier,” Uta mumbled and crouched down on his haunches. ”They were barely adults.”

 

Renji didn’t hear what he’d said.

 

He was too transfixed by the waistband of Uta’s jeans sliding down the curve of his ass and revealing the dark blue fabric of his underwear, clinging snugly to his body.

 

Suddenly his mouth was watering and it had nothing to do with the lingering scent of blood in the air. Deep down he was aware of the other ghoul still talking to him but he couldn’t rip his mind away from the way Uta’s thigh muscles stretched his pants and the subtle movement of his glutes as he moved around a little to assess the mess.

 

”Did you listen to me?” Uta asked and looked at Renji with curious eyes.

 

Renji could feel himself blush at the inquisitive stare. He felt strangely caught in the act.

 

”Pull up your pants,” he stuttered instead of answering the question at hand.

It wasn’t the most brilliant moment of his life, he had to admit. But that strip of blue fabric, tight enough to outline the crack of Uta’s ass, was irritating enough to let his mouth run loose before his mind could filter the words. And it was definitely a better option than the tingling urge in his fingers to pull down those sinfully tight pants completely. With his teeth, preferably.

 

”Excuse me, what?” Uta asked and let out a startled laugh.

 

”I said pull up your pants. Your ass is hanging out,” Renji repeated and definitely didn’t stare at the dark cotton peeking out over the waistband of Uta’s jeans. The waistband that kept sliding down inch by fucking inch the more he moved.

 

”Why Renji.” The smirk on Uta’s face was borderline feral. ”Are you, by any chance, staring at my ass?”

 

Renji scoffed.

”You’re crazy.”

 

”Is that a yes?”

He picked himself up from the ground, shaking the blood from his hands. ”You can tell me, I won’t hold it against you. It’s a damn nice ass, after all.”

Swaying his hips more than necessary, Uta stalked over to the taller man, crowding him against the outside wall of the building.

 

Renji was flushed a deep red now, teeth bared in a furious scowl. Uta had to bite down the chuckles threatening to break loose from his throat. Instead he sighed quietly and backed away. As fun as teasing the other man was, they were friends and he wasn’t unnecessarily cruel.

 

”Come on, let’s go. I will call my guys for clean-up,” Uta suggested and bumped his shoulder against Renji’s in an apologetic manner.

 

They walked back to Uta’s apartment in silence. Renji was still brooding and occasionally scowling at Uta. The blond conveniently ignored the glances thrown his way. He knew how on edge Renji could get at Uta’s constant teasing and confronting him out on the streets about it wouldn’t help.

 

As soon as they passed the threshold of the apartment, though, Uta spun around and fixed his friend with glinting eyes.

 

”Now then, Renji,” he drawled in a deep voice, lips curling into a grin. ”Wanna go back to mentally undressing me?”

He moved even closer, resuming their earlier position and pressed up against the taller man’s front, fingertips dancing along Renji’s forearms teasingly.

 

”I didn’t,” Renji bit out and the flush was back, high on his cheeks and tinting his ears a lovely red. Uta wanted to bite them, wanted to check with his own lips if the skin was as burning hot as it looked right now.

 

”Of course you didn’t,” he mocked and wrapped his fingers around Renji’s. Slowly he raised the other’s hands and laid them on the lapels of his jacket. ”I’d actually much rather have you undress me for real.”

 

”Stop fucking around, Uta,” Renji growled and pushed him off and away.

 

”Gladly,” he answered with a smirk and let himself fall against the wall, grabbing Renji’s shirt and pulling him in against himself, hard. He opened his thighs just a little to accommodate for the other body and he could pinpoint the exact moment when his friend felt what he wanted him to feel. ”I’d prefer fucking you than fucking with you anyway.”

 

He could feel Renji’s own hardness against his hip and he wanted to rip their clothes off right then and there. But Renji still looked almost panicked and that wouldn’t do.

 

”What’s wrong?” Uta asked, voice taking on a softer note, all of his teasing forgotten for the moment. He was already aching, being pressed so close to his friend’s body, his heat seeping through his clothes and warming Uta right down to his bones. But if Renji wasn’t on the same page as he was, he would back off right now.

 

”This here is wrong,” the taller man finally answered. His eyes were closed and his teeth gritted.

 

Uta flinched at those words.

”Why? Because we’re two men? You gotta be kidding me.”

He was already wriggling his way of between the wall and Renji as strong hands closed around his wrists and held him back.

 

”That’s not what I meant,” Renji insisted but he couldn’t meet Uta’s eyes. His head was bowed, his silver fringe falling over his eyes. He looked almost dejected.

 

”Then what did you mean?”

 

There was no immediate answer, just deafening silence and Renji’s fingers shaking around his wrists, yet still holding onto him as if he was a lifeline.

 

”Everyone close to me is dead.”

 

Uta wanted to tell him that yes, he already knew that, but then it clicked. The deeper meaning behind those few words, the deep-seated fear of losing another person close to him.

 

”You know I can take care of myself,” he said with a light-hearted smile to ease the tension bristling between them.

 

That was all it took for Renji to stumble forward, head almost knocking against Uta’s with the force of it, and their lips were pressed together.

 

Their kiss was borderline violent. There was too much pressure, too much clawing at each other’s backs, too much teeth.

Uta didn’t have that much experience. Other ghouls usually held a respectable distance from him and humans were far too scared of him to let him get close enough. But he knew his way around another’s mouth and before Renji could get a hang of how to move his lips, Uta sneaked out his tongue and between the full lips offered to him. Renji’s mouth was scorching hot and Uta had to bite down the moan rising in his throat at the feeling. He kept his motions slow now, coaxing Renji to follow his lead and calm down from their initial high of _fucking hell it’s happening_ to a slow melding of their lips.

 

He understood Uta’s silent plea and tried to relax, his mouth going slack to get rid of the tension he could still feel in every fiber of his body. Uta’s hands left the small of his back, slowly crawling up the sides of his torso, his chest and neck until they cupped his cheeks almost tenderly.

Renji felt like he was about to melt as Uta coaxed his mouth open wide and stroked the roof of his mouth with his tongue. His senses zeroed in on their own little bubble, filled with heavy breaths, the taste of blood and sweat on their tongues and a strange pulsing tension in his chest.

 

He’d never expected to end up here, at the mercy of the 4th Ward’s peacekeeper, sucking his lips like they held a nutrient he couldn’t survive without.

 

Maybe that wasn’t too far off.

Uta held him back from doing stupidly irresponsible things when he was at his lowest. He showed him the ways of the 4th Ward, disclosed the best hunting places to him and protected him when he needed it. Renji would probably be dead without Uta.

 

Somehow that thought strung the knot in his chest even tighter.

 

Spurred on by that feeling, he let the reigns he’d had on his desires go and his arms wrapped around Uta tighter, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of his lower back.

There were too many layers of clothing between them all of a sudden, but Renji couldn’t even imagine letting go to get them off their bodies. All he wanted to do was cling onto the other ghoul until he could seep into his skin and never leave again. The feeling was obviously mutual when Uta’s hands slipped underneath Renji’s sweatshirt and bumped along the ridges of his ribcage, huffing a satisfied breath at the sensation.

 

”I wouldn’t have pegged you for the clingy type,” Uta murmured between kisses, lips still resting against Renji’s, so close, he could almost taste the amused smile.

 

”I’m not clingy,” he protested as he let his hands finally sneak underneath Uta’s jacket and shirt, the rough pads of his fingers painting sizzling patterns onto the skin of his back.

 

Uta laughed at him again, the sound tinkling like a bell and Renji dropped his head to the other’s shoulder, burying his face there as he was overwhelmed with a feeling he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He didn’t have much time to think about it anyway, as Uta pulled his face back to his and they were kissing again. Their tongues moved together easier now, less messily and Renji finally understood why everyone on TV seemed to be doing that so much.

 

But Uta ended their kiss with a quick bite to his lower lip, too quickly for his taste, and then, grinning like a madman, eyes blazing and piercings glinting in the half-light, his tousled hair sticking up in ridiculous ways, he sank to his knees and ripped down Renji’s pants.

Renji flinched as the cool air hit his naked skin and his hands automatically went to cover himself up, but Uta batted them away.

Before he could ask what the peacemaker was planning to do, he could feel soft and wet lips mouthing at his cock and his brain shut off. His head fell back against the wall with a loud thud.

 

”Mmh, Ren, you taste amazing,” Uta slurred, high on the arousal flooding his body with burning heat. His fingers took a hold of Renji’s cock delicately, holding him up so he had easier access with his mouth.

Without much pause he stuck out his tongue and licked across the glistening head with the flat of it, eliciting a shuddering breath from the taller man. Uta felt pride swell in his chest at the noise.

Humming, he mouthed at the head and dipped his tongue into the slit, his eyes transfixed by the bitter liquid bubbling from it with every lick. Slowly he worked his way down Renji’s shaft, stopping to place soft suckles at the ridge of his head, the base and the thick vein running along the underside, ears perking up at every noise leaving Renji’s throat.

For such an introverted guy he was being incredibly vocal and Uta felt his own cock twitch in his pants, precum seeping through the soft cotton.

 

Still, he felt like something was missing and he finally realised what it was when he saw Renji’s fingers scrambling, opening and closing uselessly against the wall. Sucking the loose bit of Renji’s foreskin into his mouth, then running his tongue along the now exposed head to keep his attention, Uta dragged his own hands up the other ghoul’s torso, relishing the twitching muscles and pebbled nipples, before he made his way down each arm. Reaching those strong hands he’d wanted to feel on his own body for ages, he took them and guided them to his hair, coaxing the fingers to grip at it.

 

Uta sighed happily. That was more like it.

 

He could feel Renji’s fingers tightening and loosening around strands of his hair, the rough pads of his fingertips dragging across his scalp. It felt heavenly.

 

Impatient, he wiggled his head a little, provoking his lover to grip tighter and he did, fisting his hands roughly yet carefully.

 

Uta wanted to praise him for catching up so quickly, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull off of Renji. His lips fastened around Renji’s cock felt too good to abandon that feeling even for one second.

Instead, he pulled his lips over his teeth, tightened around the tip and slid forwards.

 

 

Agonisingly so.

 

Listening to his lover’s shaky moans, he knew he was doing something right and did it again. Uta quickly found a rhythm of soft lips and insistent sucking before pulling off completely to mouth at the slit, tongue slipping inside the skin and swirling around the flushed tip. He’d never thought giving head would that pleasing to him. That one time someone had sucked him off, they had looked utterly uncomfortable on their knees and they’d almost gagged.

 

But this, this was so much better than he could have imagined.

 

He could feel the steady thrum of Renji’s pulse in his cock, the little twitches it gave when Uta did something particularly good. And the taste. Uta would give up eating human flesh if he could live off of Renji’s divine taste.

 

Renji’s cock was surging in his mouth, twitching hard and Uta pulled off entirely before he could gag, letting him slip from his mouth with a wet sound. He pursed his lips and let the leaking tip rest against them, looking up at the man towering over him with innocent eyes. Renji’s eyes rolled back into his head at the sight and his arms rippled with a held back motion. His mouth opened and closed, as if he wanted to say something, but the only sounds leaving his mouth were weak gasps. Smiling, Uta rubbed the head against his pliant lower lip, wetting it with the salty precum before licking it off with a pleased hum.

 

A sudden strong tug on his head had Uta inching forward again, taking more and more of Renji into his mouth. He sucked in breath through his nose, willing his throat to relax as he felt the tip hit the back of it. He counted it as a win when he didn’t choke and even managed to swallow around Renji’s cock, making him fold over in pleasure.

 

”What the -” Renji started to say, but another suck had him moaning, breaking out in a sweat and he couldn’t help his hips moving into the wet heat wrapped around him. His hands guided Uta’s head of their own accord, slowly pulling him away, and roughly pushing him back down. Uta timed his suckles with Renji’s guidance, hollowing out his cheeks on the pull, quickly lapping at the slit and relaxing his throat on the push. Every time he took him to the hilt, Renji jutted his hips forward and Uta’s nose brushed the coarse curls at the base of Renji’s cock, forehead brushing against rippling muscles and sweat-slick skin. Acting on impulse, Uta let his hands wander, palms smoothing down quivering thighs and a heaving chest, until one cupped Renji’s balls and squeezed.

 

Renji howled, hunching over so far, Uta could feel the tips of his hair brushing against the crown of his own head.

 

It didn’t take long until Renji could feel the tell-tale spasms in his lower belly, muscles tightening in a familiar way, letting him know he was too close already.

 

”Stop!” he almost yelled and tugged at Uta’s hair, the blond strands weirdly crunchy between his fingers, they were so dry from dyeing them so often. The rough pull seemed to spur his lover on even more rather then pull his unholy mouth away from his twitching cock.

”Fuck Uta, I don’t wanna – ah!”

It was already too late, one last hard suck and Uta’s lewd moan vibrating down to his core had him coming, cock pulsing in quick spurts, thighs quaking and breath rushing out of his lungs in one hoarse groan.

 

He was dead.

 

He definitely just died. Nothing else could explain the pure euphoria flooding his body, stretching out from his core to his tingling fingers and toes. His head felt fuzzy and blissfully empty, the sharp edges of reality blunted.

 

There were hands on his thighs, stroking, lips caressing the jut of his hipbones, a nose following the trail of silver hair up to dip into his navel.

 

Uta hummed, obviously seeking his attention and Renji pried his eyes open to look at his lover, ignoring the urge to just drop right there and sleep.

 

They locked gazes, heavy lidded and burning a bright crimson and Renji knew for sure. He was so far gone for his first and only friend, there was no chance of stepping away. No chance in hell.

 

”What?” Renji asked, battling down the feelings he didn’t want to deal with quite yet, and he flinched. His voice sounded strange even to his own ears. Hoarse. Cracking on that single word as if he’d screamed all night long. He sounded absolutely wrecked.

 

The grin Uta shot him at that was paired with a tongue licking his white-flecked lips clean like he’d just had the best meal of his life. Then he swallowed and immediately stuck out his tongue, showing off pink flesh and nothing else.

 

”You ... fuck!” Renji groaned and banged his head against the wall. ”You didn’t,” he said weakly, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

”Oh, I definitely did,” Uta chuckled and after one final lick, cleaning off the last bit of cum dripping from Renji, he pulled himself up from his knees. He winced a little, kneecaps throbbing and ankles aching from having been folded under his weight so awkwardly. The discomfort was quickly forgotten, though, as he came face to face with Renji. His face was flushed, lips swollen and bloody as if he’d bitten them too roughly. But his eyes were what caused Uta’s knees to go weak.

 

They were open and unguarded, almost vulnerable, so unlike Renji’s usual self that Uta had to swallow hard.

 

He really wanted to kiss the other ghoul, trace the swell of his lower lip with his tongue and taste the blood gathered at the corner of his mouth. But he doubted that Renji would allow a kiss, after what Uta had just done with his mouth.

 

Or so he thought.

 

Only a second later Renji was leaning into him, lips pressing against his in a chaste and tender kiss. Uta sighed and shifted a little, leaning his body into Renji’s and slipping his arms around his waist.

 

Soon enough their kisses turned heated again. Uta couldn’t help it, he was still painfully hard, his tight jeans doing nothing to alleviate the pressure and the fact that Renji was still standing there with his pants and underwear around his ankles didn’t help either. His hips snapped involuntarily, an aborted little motion against Renji’s hips, but it was enough to have Uta sigh deep in his throat.

 

Renji broke their kiss with a surprised noise and stared at him. Embarrassed by his own actions, Uta buried his face against the other’s clavicle.

 

”Sorry about that,” he mumbled and willed his cock to calm down. He’d already pushed Renji farther beyond his boundaries than was probably acceptable, he didn’t need to push him even more.

 

”It’s fine,” Renji answered just as quietly and to Uta’s surprise, he placed his hands on the swell of his ass. ”It’s okay,” he whispered, fingertips stroking along the waistband of his jeans, trailing along the blue cotton of his underwear.

 

Uta was completely silent, frozen to the spot as he let Renji feel him up with nimble fingers. Suddenly they dipped beneath the waistband of his underwear and grabbed onto the supple flesh of his ass, pulling him forward in one quick motion.

 

”Come on,” Renji encouraged with another pull and Uta could feel the taller man’s burning face against his cheek.

 

He was beyond being embarrassed by now, Renji touching him like that and grinding against his erection was too good to be true. He didn’t give a fuck anymore.

 

Slowly Uta started moving, rolling his hips against Renji in a fluid motion, adjusting himself now and then until his cock rested more comfortably inside the confines of his clothes and against Renji’s lower belly. He really wanted to take off his jeans, at least, but he didn’t dare. This, being allowed to fuck against Renji, was already more than he’d hoped for. He wouldn’t push his luck.

 

”Fuck,” Uta moaned at a particularly delicious thrust paired with Renji’s fingers sliding between his cheeks. ”You’re quite dirty for such a silent guy,” he tried to joke but the shortness of his breath and whimpers destroyed his bravado.

 

”Shut up, Uta,” Renji said and crushed their mouths together again, effectively shutting him up himself.

 

It only took a few more sloppy thrusts and Renji biting his ear and Uta was coming, groaning Renji’s name until he was hoarse.

 

The next few minutes were a blur to him. Somehow they managed to awkwardly shuffle to Uta’s couch and collapse onto it. They were both too exhausted now to be self-conscious or over-think what had just happened. Uta was even too out of it to be bothered by the rapidly cooling mess in his underwear.

Renji finally pulled up his pants though, covering himself up and Uta pouted at him.

 

”Stop that,” Renji grumbled and turned his head away, hiding his blushing cheeks.

 

”But I liked seeing you like that. All debauched and filthy,” Uta purred and pawed at the other’s hip. There was no intention behind it. He was way too tired to go for Round Two.

 

They fell silent again and Uta was already drifting off when he heard Renji take a deep breath.

Intrigued he opened his eyes and faced his friend with a curious expression.

 

”Maybe ...,” Renji started and his voice cracked. He cleared his throat. ”Maybe we can ... you know ... again. Some time.”

 

Uta stared at him, eyes wide as he tried to figure out what Renji was trying to say. When he did, he couldn’t help but laugh.

 

Renji looked mortified at his reaction, definitely getting the wrong idea, so Uta draped his legs over his lap and crawled a little closer.

”You know what, let me nap and have a snack and we could make some time in about an hour,” he said, grinning cheekily.

 

All it took was for Renji to bury his crimson face in his hands, groaning exasperatedly, and Uta was a goner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry mum.
> 
> There is no excuse for that title.  
> Someone please take me to church.


	2. Entrée

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itori sighed dramatically and threw her head back against the couch, eyes squeezed shut as if looking at him hurt her. It wasn’t out of the usual.
> 
> ”U-chan you’re so very stupid sometimes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we are all Itori.
> 
> Just a heads up, there is some unhealthy behaviour in here e.g. not f*cking talking about stuff that needs to be adressed *sighs heavily*
> 
> This chapter was heavily influenced by [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paCyth930_c) and by heavily influenced I mean that this song changed the whole plot and I accidentally paced some scenes to it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ (beware the flashing lights in the video)  
> Also, [here](http://lyricstranslate.com/en/fantastic-magic-fantastic-magic.html-0) are the lyrics because I didn't like the song at first, then I read the lyrics and my brain went "Yep, that's so Yomouta, I gotta make it their song." ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> ~~this chapter has more author's notes than an academic article written by a white dude in his 50s~~

More often than not life got in the way of promises made in the afterglow of shared passion and before Uta could even blink, Renji had gotten himself almost killed by the CCG and had moved to another ward altogether.

 

Finding his new hideout shouldn’t have been too hard, but something was holding Uta back. Maybe it was the downright terrifying death wish Uta had seen written all over Renji’s face as he had approached the CCG’s Reaper with all he’d got – which still hadn’t been enough. Or maybe it was seeing his best friend cowering on the ground, bloody and on the brink of death before he had been taken away by an old man Uta didn’t know.

 

They had done some research though and Itori had come up with a café in the 20th Ward that had a manager who fit the description.

 

”You should totally just go over there and drag his ass back here,” Itori said one evening, the glass of blood wine in her hand tipping dangerously close to spilling.

 

It had been six weeks since the incident.

 

It had been six weeks of Renji hiding and not calling back.

 

”Maybe I should,” Uta mused and swirled the dark red liquid in his own glass. It caught the overhead light, the silky red colour appealing to his eyes but his stomach was knotted to the point of pain. ”Maybe I should stay away. If he wanted to keep in touch, he would know where to find us.”

 

Itori sighed dramatically and threw her head back against the couch, eyes squeezed shut as if looking at him hurt her. It wasn’t out of the usual.

”U-chan you’re so very stupid sometimes.”

 

Definitely not unusual.

 

Uta nudged her side with his socked foot, poking the soft flesh of her stomach until she squirmed and huffed.

”Why am I stupid?”

 

Itori rolled her eyes so hard, Uta was sure it had to have hurt.

 

”Do you know our Raven or don’t you?”

 

”I would say I do?”

As much as anyone could know an as closed-off and private person as Renji was.

 

”Well, obviously you don’t!” Itori explained and the glass in her hand finally tipped over to the wrong side of spilling. Her impending tirade was cut off as she gaped at her own chest, where blood red liquid stained her dress dark and wet. She cussed and grabbed at the next best cloth to rub at the stain. Uta didn’t even attempt to explain that she had taken his scarf and that he did mind that.

“You of all people should know how he is with other people,” Itori continued after the worst of the stain had been rubbed away. “He’s a hermit when we’re not forcing him to go out. Do you really think he would make the first move and call?”

 

Well, that was what Uta had hoped for deep down. Now that Itori had put it so bluntly, he knew how stupid that hope was. Renji wasn’t great with socialising and Itori and Uta were the only friends he had ever had. He wasn’t tremendously experienced with nurturing a relationship.

Renji had said so often enough.

 

”I am a fucking idiot,” Uta mumbled and shook his head at himself.

 

”Finally some self-awareness. Now go and call him, lover boy. Or better yet, go over there and swoop him off his feet.”

 

”Stop calling me that,” he grumbled and poked her side one last time before he pushed himself up from the couch and went to retrieve his coat and shoes. It was still rather early and if he hurried up, he could maybe get to the café for a casual coffee before they closed up. It wouldn’t do to appear clingy.

 

 _It’s been six fucking weeks, there’s nothing clingy about that_ , he scolded himself mentally as he slipped into his shoes and fastened the shoe laces.

 

”Come on, lover boy, I’m not the one who sucked Renji’s dick, now was I?”

 

Uta rolled his eyes.

”Why the hell did I even tell you that?”

 

”I’m your best friend,” Itori said with a smirk, too satisfied with herself. ”And no matter what you say or think, you still can’t hold your liquor and get brutally honest when you’re drunk.”

 

”Yeah, whatever, see you later,” he called over his shoulder as he basically ran from her apartment.

 

“I better not see you!” was the muffled answer as the door fell into place behind Uta.

 

He could feel his cheeks burning brightly and that was something Itori didn’t have to see. It was bad enough that he had told her about that incident with Renji when he had been drunk and sulking over Renji’s sudden silence. She hadn’t stopped teasing him ever since and _lover boy_ was actually one of the nicer nicknames. _Oblivious asinine fuckwit_ was worse.

 

Uta adopted a brisk pace for his walk, inhaling the fresh evening air greedily. It had been raining for a few days but a stiff breeze had chased the stifling humidity away for a few hours. His eyes slipped shut, contended for a few seconds with the unusual freshness.

 

The 4th Ward wasn’t famous for its impeccable state. Gang fights, assaults and sub-par living standards dominated the ward and it showed. The smell of freshly spilled blood and trash were common and even welcomed compared to other odors the people here had had to deal with before.

 

Quiet and idyllic evenings like this one were rare and Uta had never really enjoyed them before. He was born into chaos and uproar, a child of survival and fighting. He was neither familiar with quietness nor did he know what idyllic meant.

 

Until that first late afternoon in the skies of Tokyo, sitting next to Renji in companionable silence.

 

”Fuck,” Uta huffed quietly. He was so far gone for Renji, it was ridiculous.

 

And it had only taken several months for him to understand his feelings.

 

Uta wasn't well versed in relationship matters either. He'd fooled around a little but no one had ever stuck around for longer than a heartbeat. He hadn’t wanted them to, and neither had they wanted that.

 

He'd had friends, sure. Fleeting acquaintances for a part of his life and longer friendships that supported him through good and bad, like Itori. Uta was inclined to put Renji in the second category.

 

It was an unusual one, their friendship.

 

They started off on bad terms, ready to kill each other in a heartbeat but never quite motivated enough to do so. The thrill of the chase and fight had been too overpowering and downright fun to give into killing each other too quickly.

 

And one day, before Uta was even aware of it, he'd been emotionally attached. He'd started to wonder about the quiet youngster who fought like a rabid animal, but whose eyes looked dead and vulnerable at the same time. He had started to wonder about that silent guy; what he did when he wasn't fighting. About his past, his present. And sometimes Uta even wondered about his future.

 

Would he just disappear as quickly as he had appeared in the 4th Ward? Would he just up and leave overnight, without leaving a footprint of his existence behind?

 

It was those thoughts that knotted Uta's stomach uncomfortably, even though he had eaten and couldn't be hungry and his meal had been of fine quality.

 

It had taken months, but one afternoon he had realised: He had started to like the new guy.

 

Uta was never one for passively living his life so he just had to do something, anything really, about this new revelation. So he had sought Renji out. Strung up a conversation with him. Engaged him in friendly yet superficial banter and later on hushed revelations about each other’s pasts in the dead of night.

 

Their friendship had been strange from the beginning. Unusual.

 

Unlikely, even.

 

And yet they stuck together. They had each other’s backs in every situation.

 

And somehow they turned into one-time-lovers six weeks ago. Actions born out of a spur of the moment want and desire that Uta had found weird and maybe even terrifying.

 

Because he'd never loved before. He'd never been in love before.

 

And being in love was scary to him. Too new, too raw for him to comfortably talk about it and pursue it as freely as he had pursued anything else in his life.

 

He doubted that even Itori knew the true extent of his feelings.

And maybe she did. She was perceptive like that. Itori usually managed to know the true nature of things concerning Uta, which he himself took months or years to fully realise.

 

"Stop this," Uta growled at himself.

He wasn't a hopeless teenager in a mainstream romantic comedy. He was teetering on the edge to adulthood and he'd been through so much in his life already, having these feelings about his other best friend shouldn't terrify him like that.

 

But it still did.

 

Only now did he realise that he must have left the 4th Ward a while ago. These streets didn't seem familiar at all but he kept walking. There had to be public transport around here somewhere. Tokyo was too big a city to just walk around anyway, even for someone as physically fit as Uta.

 

He finally found a train station and boarded the next best train that he thought could take him to the 20th Ward.

Uta didn't like public transport but tonight he'd make do with it. He just wanted to get to the café Itori had talked about as soon as possible. Even if he didn't want to admit it, even to himself.

 

He missed Renji like a limb he had been born with, but didn't know existed until it had been brutally ripped away from him late in his life. Which he found weird enough. They hadn't known each other for that long, just over half a year, and already Uta was unable to imagine his life without Renji's existence filling his days with quiet conversations and companionable silence when neither felt like talking.

 

Being Renji's friend felt as natural as breathing.

 

Falling in love with him had felt equally as natural and just so right that Uta would never dare undo it. Even after all the queasiness and pain it had caused him these past few silent weeks.

 

Maybe he was a teenager after all. He couldn't even control his thoughts on the matter, not even for a second.

"Just like in a shitty movie," he mumbled under his breath and dug his knuckles into his eyes until purple flecks started to dart in his vision.

 

He needed to get a grip on himself or Renji would immediately pick up on his torn state. Renji could be scarily perceptive, even though he was oblivious to a lot of things happening around him. But sometimes, when it mattered, he was like a bloodhound that could smell emotional troubles.

 

And Uta did feel troubled, that he knew for sure.

 

Uta wasn't sure how he would react to seeing Renji tonight after such a long time without him.

 

He couldn't tell what he wanted to happen tonight. He didn't know what he wanted for their future.

 

Uta only knew that these past few weeks had been more painful than any wound he had ever been inflicted and that he wanted Renji in his life. If that meant he had to bury these conflicting feelings deep down and never indulge himself in the incident they had shared ever again, he would do it.

 

If it meant limiting the time they saw each other, he would manage. If he could get to see Renji just from time to time, it would be enough. As long as he wouldn't lose his best friend for good, he would do anything.

 

_Could I get any cheesier?_

Uta smiled self-deprecatingly.

He probably couldn't even if he tried but he didn't want to limit himself. Maybe there was still room to get cheesier from there given a certain situation.

 

His inner angsting had at least killed the time spent on the train and by sheer luck, Uta found himself at the right train stop, taking the right turns and suddenly he was where he wanted to be.

 

The exterior of the café looked nicer than Uta had anticipated. Orange light fell through the half-closed blinds onto the sidewalk, giving a cosy glow to the concrete ground. The sign reading ”Anteiku” was illuminated in the same orange light. The whole picture oozed warmth and homeliness.

 

Uta peeked through the blinds into the spacious interior of Anteiku. There were only a few customers left.

A teenage couple making googly eyes at each other over the rims of their empty mugs. A stressed looking business woman in a power suit who ordered two shots of espresso and who typed agitatedly away on her phone. And a mother in gym clothes feeding a muffin to the toddler propped in her lap.

 

Everything about the café screamed familiarity and cosiness and Uta couldn’t even imagine Renji fitting into the picture. At all.

 

But there he was, dressed in sharp clothes in black, white and mocca brown tones, his hair combed and groomed neatly, his skin free of the dirt and blood Uta was so used to seeing on him this past year.

 

Uta’s stomach turned cold and queasy as he watched Renji pour two shots of espresso into the prepared cup and hand it to the business woman with a barely there but polite smile.

 

It was the weirdest thing, a sharp twinge in Uta’s chest, but Renji did fit.

 

He fit so perfectly into the orange lighting and aromatic air that Uta couldn’t remember a time when Renji had fit into his own life at all. Renji wasn’t meant to spent his life fighting and on the run from the CCG. He was meant to do exactly this, brighten people’s days with small acts of kindness.

 

And Uta was the one that didn’t fit into this new picture. He was the one that didn’t fit into Renji’s life.

 

His fingertips turned cold and it had nothing to do with the chill of the night slowly creeping beneath his clothes or the blood wine in his system slowly losing its effect.

 

It had everything to do with this new realisation.

 

His feet reacted before his brain did. Slowly he stumbled back, away from the windowed front of the café. Out of the orange glow and into the lurking shadows, where he belonged.

 

But it was already too late.

 

Renji had raised his head to give a final goodbye to the business woman as she left through the entrance, and for a split second before he disappeared into the shadows of an alley, Uta could see recognition flit across Renji’s features, as his eyes fell on Uta.

 

Uta ducked into the alley, out of sight from any passer-by, out of sight from Renji, and leaned against the cool brick wall.

 

That hadn’t gone as he had imagined.

 

He’d wanted to walk in there with his usual bravado in place and act like these past six weeks hadn’t happened. He’d imagined Renji being surprised but positively so.

 

Uta hadn’t anticipated the look of horror on Renji’s frozen face.

 

”Hey.”

 

It was Uta’s turn to freeze as he heard the familiar voice closer than it had any right to be. Renji was supposed to be in the café, not out here in a dark alley, stalking up to Uta.

 

There was no way to run now, though.

”Hey,” Uta said, voice unnaturally levelled and cool. Much more levelled and cooler than he felt inside.

 

”What are you doing here?”

Renji’s forehead creased into his usual questioning frown and Uta’s chest fluttered at the action. It felt too familiar to before the incident.

 

”You know, I just wanted to...”

His voice trailed off into nothingness. Uta wasn’t sure what he’d actually wanted. See Renji, that was for sure. Maybe even talk to him. But admitting that would be too much.

 

Renji took a deep breath and shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks.

”My shift ends in ten minutes.”

 

Uta nodded silently and Renji answered with a nod of his own, before he went back into the café to finish his shift.

 

Uta lingered around the alley, awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He felt weird waiting out here without anything to do. And he wasn’t hidden well enough, judging by the suspicious looks the few people walking by threw his way. They only saw a good-for-nothing young adult with bleached blond hair and roots showing more than was probably acceptable and drew their own conclusions from there.

 

Renji finally returned after what had felt like an eternity to Uta, the brown apron discarded in the café. The lack of it showed off the fitted crispness of his white dress shirt and the perfect fit of his slacks.

 

He looked sharp and dressed to kill.

 

”So, what is it you wanted?” Renji asked in true Renji fashion. Just on the wrong side of defensive and monotone to let Uta be sure of Renji’s real mood.

 

Uta tried to swallow down the sour pang of irritation on his tongue at Renji’s words.

”Well, it’s been some weeks. I ... Itori and our group, we kinda worried about you.”

 

Renji fidgeted.

 

“And we … kinda missed having you around.”

 

Renji inhaled. Exhaled. And inhaled again before he ever opened his mouth to say anything.

”Oh,” was what finally came tumbling out of his mouth after a few seconds of strained silence.

 

”Oh?” Uta repeated and he felt anger sizzling up his throat, replacing his irritation. ”You almost got killed right before my eyes and proceeded to ignore my and Itori’s calls and messages for six fucking weeks! And all you can come up with is _oh_?”

 

Renji shrunk back into himself and he suddenly seemed tiny and fragile. Quite a feat for a man of his height and stature.

 

”Sorry,” he mumbled and Uta had to lean closer to catch the word.

 

”You’re sorry?” He scoffed at that but his anger started to slowly dissipate at the apology. ”That’s not really good enough.”

 

Renji looked utterly uncomfortable now and crossed his arms across his chest, his fingers worrying the fabric of his dress shirt.

 

”I know, but ...” He closed his eyes and hung his head a little before he took a step forward. ”My apartment is just around the corner.”

With that he just started walking without turning around to have a look at whether Uta was following him or not.

 

But of course Uta did. He wished he were aloof enough to just leave and head straight home, just like his anger and hurt suggested he should do, but he had missed Renji. That was a fact and he wasn’t going to deny it to himself. The last six weeks without him, filled with worrying and hoping for a call had been bad enough and he didn’t want to throw away what they had. Even if that wasn’t much to Renji in the first place.

 

”We’re here,” Renji announced after a few minutes of walking and procured a key from his pocket. He unlocked the door and stepped aside, holding it open and Uta walked through, taking in the room in front of him.

 

It was a tiny apartment, just a room uniting a kitchen, living room and bedroom with only one more door that must have been the bathroom. It was tidy enough, despite the limited space.

 

”It suits you,” Uta said quietly and ran a finger along the impeccable counter in the kitchen. It was obvious that no one had used this kitchen in a long time. Only the coffee maker showed signs of use. ”Minimalist, but that’s just like you, anyway.”

 

Doing small talk felt weird, but Renji wasn’t saying anything of substance either, he was just staring with that strange intensity from before and Uta started to squirm under the close scrutiny.

 

”What?” he finally asked as the staring got too much.

 

The door clicked as it fell shut and the room fell silent. Renji didn’t answer, he didn’t even move as Uta finally dared to look at him.

 

The silence between them was solid and thick enough to cut and Uta’s skin prickled uncomfortably.

Why wasn’t Renji saying anything?

 

What did he want Renji to say anyway? I’m sorry? I fucked up?

Renji wasn’t the type to acknowledge things like this. And neither was Uta. Their friendship hadn’t been based on overly emotional displays of love and affection. It just wasn’t like them.

 

Even though Uta didn’t know what he wanted or expected, he knew it wasn’t this.

The silence hurt and he’d rather hear anything else but silence.

 

”Come on,” Uta said and it sounded too much like a plea for his liking. ”Don’t you have anything to say?”

 

Renji’s gaze darkened at the blunt challenge and he stepped closer, into Uta’s personal space.

 

”No.”

 

It was barely more than a whisper, hushed into the spaces between them and Uta could almost taste the word on his expectant lips but he was too busy watching Renji’s every move. The way his body came closer, slowly. The way his hair followed the soft movement of his step. Renji’s own lips, parted and pinker than Uta remembered them being.

 

The air was crackling with tension as Renji came closer still, pressed himself up against Uta, their bodies slotting together so perfectly like they were made for each other. Heavy breaths filled their ears, drowning out the hum of the cars driving by outside.

 

Uta wanted to ask what they were doing, wanted to clarify what was happening between them right now but he found himself incapable of keeping his mouth from latching onto Renji’s as Renji kissed him.

 

It was just as messy as that first time, their urgency drowning out any sense of technique or rational thought. The moments their tongues touched, Uta moaned, arching his back until he could feel his groin grinding against Renji’s, drawing a surprised groan from him as well. Renji’s hands came up to cup the arch of Uta’s back, fingertips pressing into the soft flesh of his hips and lower back. Uta followed the coaxing pressure into pushing against Renji harder.

 

Closer.

 

Erasing the last millimetre of distance between them without a second thought.

 

There were no hesitant touches or a slow build-up this time. They went to rip off their clothes immediately, no false sense of shame hindering their hands as they groped heated flesh. Their hands were shaking with desire and adrenaline as Renji led them to the small couch and pushed Uta down on it.

 

”Not even the futon?” Uta asked and his intended joking tone was strangled in his breathlessness as he let himself be pressed into the cushions. They scratched against the sensitive skin of his back and he shivered into Renji’s waiting hands.

 

”No time,” Renji gasped into Uta’s ear, then licked the shell, hot breath ghosting along his neck.

 

Uta gurgled a strange sound between a giggle and a gasp and wrapped his arms around Renji’s shoulders. Their chests, heaving and hot, rubbed against each other and Uta could see Renji shudder as Uta’s nipple piercings came in contact with naked skin.

 

”Agreed,” Uta mumbled into the crook of Renji’s neck and licked the skin there, grinning as his action raised goosebumps. ”Six weeks is enough time wasted.”

 

Renji slumped onto Uta, his body heavy and all-encompassing. Uta wanted them to never move away from each other again.

But they had to and when they did, they reached to their still remaining underwear at the same time.

 

Both stilled as their finger reached the waistbands of their underwear and looked at each other.

Uta took in Renji’s hair, now disheveled even though Uta’s hands hadn’t come near it yet. His lips were even pinker now and there was a tiny split, already healing, where Uta had bitten down a little too hard earlier.

 

Uta took in every little detail of Renji’s face, the dark grey hairs of his eyebrows, the flecks of olive in his grey eyes, the fine lines of worry around them. And he saw Renji doing the same with his brows scrunched together in concentration.

He wondered if Renji saw the same things, the fine hairs where his eyebrows had grown back in, the tears in the corners of his mouth, the nails bitten down to the wick as Uta wiped his hair from his eyes.

 

Whatever Renji saw, it caused him to lean closer again and plant a soft kiss to Uta’s lips. Softer than any of those that had come before.

Then Renji snaked his hands between them and pulled at Uta’s boxers, until he raised his hips to help get them off. Uta felt awkward as he stretched his legs into the air in front of Renji to get his underwear completely off, but Renji’s open mouth and wide eyes fixed on the back of his thighs was enough to pierce through the awkwardness.

 

Uta wanted Renji to never stop looking either.

 

Things slowed down again, lulled, and Uta found himself smothered by Renji’s body again, as Renji crowded him into the cushions. His skin was so warm and soft. Softer than it had any right to be. Uta ran his fingertips along the gentle swell of Renji’s biceps and smiled wickedly as the forming gooseflesh teased at the pads of his fingers.

 

”Are you cold?” Uta asked cheekily and his smile split into a full-on grin at Renji’s blush.

 

”Not really. Are you?”

Renji dragged his palms up over Uta’s arms, then down over his chest. The roughness of his palms prickled against the goosebumps of Uta’s skin.

 

”Nope,” Uta said, then gasped as a thumb flicked over his piercing. ”Not really.”

 

Renji dropped his head to Uta’s collarbones and rested his forehead there, and a small giggle escaped him.

 

”What’s up?” Uta asked, surprised at the small and unusual sound, and carded his fingers through Renji’s hair. He tried to get it out of Renji’s face to read his expression, but he could only see the crown of his head. ”Why are you laughing?”

 

”It’s nothing,” Renji sighed and Uta shivered as wet lips moved along his collarbone.

 

”Really?” Uta pressed. ”Because I’ve never heard you giggle like that before.”

 

”I didn’t giggle,” Renji giggled and tried to muffle the noise against Uta’s neck. It was for naught, rather Uta could feel the amused sound vibrate through his flesh.

 

A giggling Renji was not only the happiest sound Uta had ever heard. It was also the warmest.

Uta couldn’t help the lazy grin spreading across his lips as the reality of the situation sunk in again.

 

He was here with Renji, finally reunited again and they were making out clumsily like fumbling teenagers.

 

Uta giggled.

 

”I guess you just thought of the same thing,” Renji mumbled into Uta’s hair. His hands were wandering now, softly rubbing at Uta’s side and Uta reciprocated with his arms sliding in place around Renji’s shoulders to hold him closer.

 

”I guess you could be right,” he answered.

 

Their easy conversation seemed almost too easy, too effortless for Uta to accept it as real but the sting of Renji’s teeth marking his tender flesh and Renji’s coarse body hair setting Uta’s every nerve aflame told him that it was all very real and really happening.

 

The fire in the pit of his stomach churned and burned him from the inside with every little movement they made.

 

Uta ran his feet up Renji’s calves and thighs.

 

”You need to lose this,” he urged and dug his toes into Renji’s underwear to tug it off. ”Seriously.”

The cloth caught on the swell of Renji’s ass and at the tent in the front and Uta wanted to growl in frustration. But then Renji got active himself and pulled his underwear off and threw it away into a random corner of his apartment.

 

Uta giggled at the shameless display of Renji’s eagerness but he was quickly cut off by a moan.

 

Renji’s mouth sucking at the crease of Uta’s thigh felt way too good to be legal.

 

The scratch of the newly acquired stubble on his chin felt heavenly on Uta’s thighs. Uta thrust his hips in the air, messily poking Renji in the cheek with his erection but he was too aroused to feel self-conscious about how ridiculous that made him look. His brain had zeroed in on the way Renji wetted his lips with a quick flash of tongue and the way his eyes were suddenly half-lidded and heavy.

 

Renji looked too good on his knees, tongue lolling out to hesitantly lick at Uta’s cock as his fingers massaged Uta’s milky thighs.

Then he sunk down on him, until Uta could feel his tip hitting the soft back of Renji’s throat and his teeth against the base of his cock.

 

Uta moaned helplessly, at a loss for words at the sensations. He’d been blown before, in a more confident way even, but there was just something about Renji mouthing at the tip of his cock with a deep frown between his brows. Uta’s head fell back against the cushions and he sucked in a shaky breath.

 

His head was swimming, his ears ringing. Maybe he was dying, maybe he was reborn, he couldn’t care less. He could accept anything as long as he could sink into this feeling and forget the world around him.

The licking along his cock stopped immediately.

 

Uta groaned for a completely different reason. ”What happened?” he asked and propped himself up. He met Renji’s eyes across the tip of his erection.

 

”Did I hurt you?” Renji asked with a worried edge to his voice. The situation was so ridiculous, Uta was tempted to give in to the laughing fit trying to work its way up his throat.

 

How could Renji do it? Ask a question with such innocent eyes while he still delicately held Uta’s dick in his hands?

 

”No, silly,” Uta giggled and moved to stroke Renji’s hair quickly. He had to smirk as he noticed Renji’s eyes dropping and sticking to Uta’s flexing abs.

 

”You sounded in pain,” Renji said matter-of-factly. He leaned closer until the tip of his nose almost touched the skin of Uta’s stomach.

 

Uta chuckled and gripped Renji’s face, tugging him up until their lips could meet again. Tasting himself on Renji was nicer than he would have thought.

 

”I wasn’t.” He said it firmly, but he knew that Renji could hear the playful tinge of his voice. ”Or maybe I was. You know, a kind of pleasurable pain.”

 

Renji looked pleased with the implicit praise and Uta kissed him soundly for it. He was so cute, flushed with arousal and high on being praised.

 

”If you ... liked that, can I try something?”

 

Uta’s ears perked at the hesitant questions but he nodded almost immediately.

 

Renji’s palms were warm on Uta’s inner thighs as he spread them apart, almost too gently to bear. They were still rough but not as much as the last time Uta had felt them on his skin.

 

”Yes, like that,” Renji mumbled as Uta’s legs fell to the couch at his sides, his body splayed open invitingly. There was a slight blush on his cheeks, highlighting his glassy eyes and moist lips. Uta wanted to devour him whole, he desired him so much.

But he held back and kept still, silently watching Renji’s actions, as he planted kisses to Uta’s thighs and his fingers fluttered along Uta’s butt cheeks. Uta took deep breaths to keep the whirlwind of emotions threatening to overcome him at bay. He closed his eyes so he didn’t have to watch Renji any longer. He was way too beautiful to look at him for extended periods of time.

 

Uta hoped that the dark behind his closed lids would help him focus on not melting into a puddle of arousal, but all it did was to make the sensations shooting across his nerve endings even more intense. He could hear and _feel_ Renji’s breath on his most intimate parts, he could feel the hairs of his beard tickling him slightly. He could hear the rubbing of skin against fabric as Renji adjusted his position.

 

Then there was a sweet sigh shooting through Uta’s bones and a soft probing at his hole, wet and hesitant. Uta involuntarily clenched, bearing down on the weird new sensation and somehow that seemed to do the trick and Renji’s finger sunk in further, much to both their surprises. Uta gasped a little and wiggled around, trying to get used to the feeling and ignoring how laboured Renji’s breaths had suddenly become.

 

”That’s weird,” Uta finally managed to say between gasps that weren’t his own. He looked at Renji and his strangely red face and bared teeth and was about to raise an eyebrow at him but he was cut off by a growl and being manhandled.

 

Renji pushed Uta’s legs up until they rested on his own chest, bending him in half and rendering him practically immobile. Not that Uta minded much, he definitely enjoyed the heavy weight pressing him into the cushions, making it hard to breath in the best way possible.

 

”Well,” Uta said with a grin. ”That’s interesting, to– oh!”

 

The fingers inside him twisted a little but Uta hardly felt any pain, as he thought he should. The little pain he did feel dissolved as soon as Renji angled his wrist a little and bumped over something inside that had Uta see stars.

 

His body convulsed as Renji kept at it, attacking that spot with a precision that would have earned a teasing remark hadn’t Uta been too busy groaning.

 

”That okay?” Renji asked unnecessarily. As if the full-bodied shudder wasn’t enough of a green light. Uta nodded vigorously anyway and dug his fingers into Renji’s shoulders, relishing the firmness of the muscles there, pulling him closer in.

 

The air between was already stuffy and heavy with the scent of sex.

Uta dragged his tongue up Renji’s neck, tasting his heartbeat and arousal alike. Renji turned his head to the side and caught Uta in an open-mouthed kiss, their tongues slipping together messily but they still sighed into it.

 

Their hands grappled at each other, pulling closer until there couldn’t fit even air between them. Uta arched his back, tilting his hips just so and their cocks bumped into each other, triggering a heavy groan in Renji. Uta grinned and reached down, wrapping his hand around both their lengths tightly.

 

It felt like a game to Uta, the way one made a move, then stopped to wait for a counter. And Uta was quickly losing the upper hand with every involuntary rut of Renji’s hip that had their cocks rubbing together, with every tiny bite Renji pressed into his skin. With every deliberate pump of Renji’s fingers inside him setting him on fire.

 

Uta moved his hand faster, slipping off their cocks only to be led back by Renji’s shaking fist.

 

”Like that?” Uta hissed into Renji’s open mouth and twisted his hand just so. He licked the following moan right out  of Renji’s mouth with a satisfied grin.

 

Just as he thought that he might have one-upped Renji, he forcefully vibrated his hand from the wrist and Uta was pushed of the cliff without as much as a polite warning.

 

His body strung tight as his orgasm hit, then released in a wave that had him gasping and twitching against Renji, clamping down over his fingers and spilling over Renji’s cock and hand.

 

”Fuck," Renji gasped and came over their joined hands just a second later.

 

High-strung muscles and tension faded away and they collapsed to the bed, struggling to catch a proper breath. Renji withdrew his fingers and Uta winced at the foreign feeling bordering on uncomfortable now that arousal had melted away into a relaxed and sated haze. Still he followed Renji’s movements like a flower followed the sun’s path and pressed his nose into the warmth of Renji’s neck.

 

”We...maybe we should do this again some time?” Renji asked. He sounded wary. Unconvinced. Insecure.

 

”Sure.” Uta yawned and brushed his lips against skin. ”Maybe tomorrow morning after snack. How about that?”

 

Renji chuckled and pressed a fleeting kiss to Uta’s forehead.

 

”Sounds like a plan.”

 

##

 

When Renji woke up to his alarm, his side was cold and Uta long gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Write what you know seems to be a common advice for writers. So have what I know. Pining and pain.
> 
> ~~I'M NOT BITTER~~
> 
>  
> 
> See you in another eight months for the next installment of feels and bad french food puns.  
> 


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